Embracing Dissonance

Allow me to set the scene. The band is wrapping up practice, finishing the final pass through the chorus of “Reckless Love.” You hit the one, start to set down your guitar, and then the piano player stops and says, “Hey, what if we ended on the four instead and just let it hang?!” As if it’s the first time anyone has ever thought to end on a hanging chord. To be fair, if you were to take a quick poll of the musicians at my church, I’d probably be voted “overly zealous hanging chord guy.” I like some dissonance, some suspense at the end of the song. It creates a moment of anticipation, a hesitation where the audience is wondering, “is that the end? Are they about to go into another song? Are we sure they know how the song ends?” Fortunately, that moment only lasts until the band resolves and either goes into another song or plays lightly in the background. But that moment of hesitation creates an opportunity for a transition; a signal that the last song is over and we’re about to start something with a different dynamic. The tension of dissonance resolves into something new.

I can almost hear an indignant band leader muttering “dissonance; you keep using that word, I don’t think it means what you think it means.” Granted, in its musical meaning, dissonance has little to do with hanging chords, but another definition of dissonance is simply a lack of agreement between the truth and what people want to believe. The audience wants to believe the song is over. The chord progression has led them to the point of resolving only to take a left turn and dangle them over uncertainty. But of course, we can’t just cherry-pick definitions to suit an idea and ignore the commonly accepted definition. So let’s talk about actual musical dissonance.

Musical dissonance is a lack of harmony between notes or a clash of sounds that sound harsh to the ear. Diminished, augmented, and suspended chords would fall into this category. If you think in terms of intervals, minor and major seconds, minor and major sevenths, and tri-tones are all considered dissonant intervals. Now, most of us would probably agree that we like our music to be pleasing to listen to, right? I don’t think any of us have gone to a show or concert thinking, “man I really hope they play something that hurts my ears tonight!” So the question is, why do we even put dissonant chords into our music? Wouldn’t it just sound better if we stuck to our one-four-five-six minor chord progression (also known as the Chris Tomlin)? The answer, in my uneducated and humble opinion, is yes if you want all your songs to sound the same (still looking your way, Chris). But in order for there to be any growth, any transitions in our songs, there needs to be a moment of dissonance; a moment of tension that sets the listener up for the release.

I set about putting these thoughts down, not in an attempt to give a lesson in music theory or to take pot shots at Chris Tomlin (I may or may not be listening to Good Good Father as I write this), but to share something that helped me during a tense point in my life. Hopefully my ramblings can help encourage someone else in a similar season.

I should clarify, by tense point in my life, I mean a seven-year period of feeling like my life was a hanging chord that somebody forgot to resolve. Turning twenty-two, I felt like I was setting up to go into the bridge; just a crescendo away from a hitting a high point from which I was never coming down. Notice I said “I felt like I was setting up…” That’s the problem.

“For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:9 (NLT)

You know those demo songs on keyboards? Where you just hit a button and it starts playing a classical piece or some jazz chords? Now imagine trying to play one of those keyboards with the demo song drowning out every note you hit. That’s essentially what I was doing; playing my own mistake-riddled piece of music over the piece God had carefully composed and begun playing before I was born. That’s when I learned something about God. He’ll let us fumble over the keys, changing songs, fat-fingering the notes, and repeating the same worn-out chorus while he quietly plays in the background, occasionally hitting a chord slightly louder in hopes of catching our attention, but he won’t play over us. He waited until my fingers faltered, the song that I had composed in fits and starts grinding to a halt as I blindly searched for that next note, that chord that would start up the chorus again. He waited until that silence grew to a crescendo, each second adding to my bewilderment until I began to bang on the keys in frustration.  And just as I began to turn from the keys completely, he struck a chord.

We often think of God’s song for us as beautiful and melodic, played in a major key with maybe the occasional dip into a minor that quickly transitions back to a major. Without a doubt, the Master Composer has an incredible song for each of us, every single one unique in its structure and tempo; but they’re not always beautiful…not in the moment.

The chord He struck in my life was dissonant. It was a jarring, harsh, hanging chord that didn’t flow from the song I had been playing at all. At first I held my ears, yelling at Him to please, for the love of….Him, stop! Then I realized my hands weren’t on the keys anymore so it didn’t really matter what the chord sounded like, I was just relieved not to be responsible for composing the rest of the song. I could just relax now, no pressure since he took over. But the chord kept ringing…

On and on…

And on…

*Cough cough* “Excuse me? Mister God, sir? You think you could play the next chord now?”

I was tired of hearing the same ringing sensation, the beating of those clashing notes against each other. So I started playing again. A couple of bars in and that chord was still ringing in the background. Maybe if I tried a different genre? Nope, still clashes. Ok, a change of tempo should do it. Still doesn’t work. Anybody else getting tired of this by now? Those clashing notes ringing in the background as I sat on a church pew, taught Sunday School, prayed in the altars, worked my way up through my job, and played on the platform. They rang in the background as I slept-walked through life for seven years. Anytime I thought maybe I had finally found a song to play that would accompany those notes, I’d hit a wrong chord and it would fall apart again. Relationships, career aspirations, education goals, personal goals; everything seemed like that video of a dog running on a treadmill with a treat dangling on the other side.

The key to embracing dissonance is context. Play a diminished chord by itself? Terrible. Play it as a passing chord leading to a complementary chord? It provides just the right amount of tension to make the resolve a thousand times more rewarding.

“He hath put a new song in my mouth” Psalm 40:3 (KJV)

In my case, the dissonance led to a complete song change. Once I realized (through preaching, wise counsel, friends, family, the list goes on ad infinitum) that God’s hanging chord wasn’t just going to leave me dangling out over uncertainty for eternity, but was just an extended transition to the piece He intended for me all along, it made sense.

I mentioned earlier about hanging chords leaving audience in uncertainty. The best part is, the band leader knows the entire time where the music is going next. Even when all we hear is a hanging chord, suspending us out over clouds of doubt and chaos; or we hear the harsh beating of dissonant notes clashing against everything we try to play, our Band Leader is never in doubt. The Maestro is just setting up for the next movement in the piece, the Master Composer is preparing for a modulation, the Great Arranger is setting up for the next song! It’s up to us to embrace the dissonance as a passing chord leading us to the next part of the song. You know that feeling, when you’re at a concert and the band suddenly goes into the chorus of a completely different song that nobody saw coming? The energy level in the entire arena spikes and everybody turns and yells at the person next to them, “Whaaat?! That was amazing!” Yeah, that’s what comes after the dissonance. All we have to do is enjoy the surprises as God leads us through his masterpiece.

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” Jeremiah 29:11 (KJV)